2 sad, sad stories

*******Disclaimer to Lori--don't read unless you want to be sad, and you have a big box of tissues handy--consider this your warning!!********
I will start off with the story that isn't as sad. As surmised by my title, I'm sure you already know there are two! Last night off we went to t-ball. Great game, by the way, even though it was literally 106 degrees out there. So, a couple of hours later we got home. I went into the playroom to feed the kid's fish, and there is a fish lying on the floor. By itself. All alone. No water, no bowl, nothing. Just a dead fish in the middle of the floor. I yelled at the kids to come in, Janae started immediately howling and crying, because it was her fish, and it was quite dead at this point. Hunter knew nothing about it at all either. So, I figured it must have jumped out. There is no other explanation. So, off we go to PetSmart, have to replace a $2 fish to console my daughter. (And by the way, they confirmed that Bettas get "bored" and start jumping "to entertain themselves") Sometimes it's worth it. The hard part is that she's having to learn about death, and that isn't any fun. I will continue on with that in part 2 here in a minute. So, Janae was crying that she needs her fish, she can't live without her fish, she has to have her fish. A bit dramatic I know, but I do know that if she needs to grieve over a fish, so be it. Now, onto part 2. My 11 year old doggie Aztec hasn't been doing well for a couple of days. On Wednesday night, I went out to get her and actually thought that she had died out in the yard. I was calling and calling for her, she was laying with her back toward me, and not moving. She finally seemed to hear, then she headed for the door, but she's really been acting funny the past couple of days. Not normal at all. So I took her to the vet this afternoon. We spent 3 hours there, they did x-rays and bloodwork. She had a fever, so they thought that there was probably an infection somewhere, but didn't know where. Still don't. Onto the x-rays, this is where I had to grab a tissue. Her heart is enlarged, it's just gotten that way due to her age, and there isn't anything we can do about it. Basically, we are at the point to keep her comfortable. I didn't have to make the hard decision today, they gave her a shot of antibiotics for the infection and Lasix for the fluid around her heart and lungs. She's been having labored breathing, and that is why. So, we came home, she hadn't eaten in 2 days, and hadn't been drinking much, so the vet told us to keep an eye on her and if she didn't eat or drink tonight, she would need to come back and be hospitalized tomorrow for IV fluids. Well, she has something that isn't going to get well, it's not going to get any better, and even though I love her, she's not going to make it much longer. I already decided that I'm not going to start her on IV's because it's not ultimately going to do anything. She'll have to stay at the vet for that, and for how long? Until I decide that I can let her go? She did eat some canned dog food after we got home (yeck!), and has been drinking some, so I think that at least I can postpone that horrible decision past this weekend. I really left the vet thinking that I was going to have to have her put to sleep tomorrow. The last thing in the world I want is for her to be miserable because I can't get past my selfishness to let her go. It's going to kill me,but it's coming, and it's coming quickly. It sounds silly, she's just a dog, but I've had her longer than I've had my husband and children. I do love her, with all of my heart, but I'm going to have to let her go and say good-bye before long at all. So, please pray for me, so that I'll know when "it's time", and that I can do it. I can't even imagine how horribly hard that's going to be. She really does seem to be feeling better, it's been about 3 hours since that huge antibiotic shot, and I think that it has helped, but the end is still inevitable. As it is with every living creature. Sin is horrible, isn't it?? That's why we all have to die, her included. I'll end there, have a good weekend!